The Rise of the Member







Ever since first day at school I’ve heard about the Golden Rule
It says that if you cram and learn then heaps of money you would earn.
I saw that this approach made sense and studied though my brain seemed dense
The brainy kid took all my tests – not that I threatened to molest,
I gave him what he shyly stated (let him see my girlfriend naked)
Finished school and went to Uni, studied Law for opportunity
Had to leave about a fuss they made of something quite unjust
I really hadn’t been that drunk – although the Chancellor’s bed still stunk.
I needed work then figured out that politicians have some clout
Wages good, perhaps some jerks but Parliament has plenty perks
Workplace was the best far, leather seats in the Member’s Bar
And power is sexy to some sorts, who will – no doubt – make for my shorts.
Got a loan from Big Tobacco, ran and won by acting macho
(Paid them back with certain things but sshhh, I am not type who sings)
I laid the laws and Senator’s daughters; couched Acts and the House Recorder;
Sang the Anthem, hand on heart; assisted many a rich upstart;
I toured the factories, shook the hands, kissed the babies farting grand.
My peer’s said I’m as fine a man as ever graced the House divan.
I’m now retired; I had to go – small matter of too much Bordeaux.
Why 3 girls from that part of France should matter? (‘twas a private dance)
But heck, I went without a fight – I’m busy with a book to write!


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