When I was a wealthy broker I dressed dapper, mode-de-jour
Then some greedy Yankee bastbankers ended all my haute couture.
First a margin call at Barclay’s, next old Lehmann biting dust
Even blue-chips like Armani saw share values slump and bust.
From the penthouse to the poorhouse was a fall that left me bruised
My creditors fought for my Porsche but overlooked my clothes.
In Burberry Persian slippers I escaped wardrobe intact
Nicked brogues from former CEO (holed soles did not detract).
I parked my outsized wardrobe on some bankrupt builder’s land
As a home it had some drawbacks but was cozy if not grand.
I decided that each morning I’d outline some get-rich schemes
Then perambulate the sidewalks selling wealth for folks’ pipedreams.
My appearance would show others that I was a decent chap
On noting my Versace vest they’d write the needed cheque.
In my D&G cream blazer with checked shirt by Henry Buck
Rich women sensed my credence as their purses I did pluck.
When mixing with the rustics, Donegal Tweed naturally
At the Langham it’s Ralph Lauren with cravat by Liberty.
So you’re looking for a mortgage but you’re also locked in jail?
Do not fret just sign this paper, I’ll sell Crombie coats for bail.
Now I’m hanging in my wardrobe wondering how I feel today
Is my mood a muted Hugo Boss or pinstriped Cardin grey?
All my masks along the chrome rail offer feigning fronts to show
How I need you to perceive me, what I choose to let you know.
My cocoons all run the gamut from Lacroix to Christian Dior
All famous pricey labels (some sewn outside – just for show).
I’m financially embarrassed but you’d surely never tell
You’re all such shallow people that you judge me by my shell
I’m soon buying a new penthouse so this lesson’s hardly news:
Do not be bluffed by conman’s dress, invert him – check his shoes.
sustained rhythm and momentum throughout, it never flags;
great confidence in the writing. Yes!
Thanks John for your reading, analysis and positive feedback gratefully appreciated.
Haha, I love this 😉
I’m chuffed that you think it chuckleworthy – thank you.
Most definitely chuckleworthy! 😉
nothing like being fleeced by a well dressed man (smile)
as I sit in simple shorts, t-shirt, barefooted just finished feeding the geese and deer and the rest of the zoo LOLs…
this was really …gosh it just rolled through my mind
not sure of a word for that ….I like it!
Thank you for the smile…!
Take Care…You Matter…
)0(
maryrose
Overwhelmed by this friendliest of commendations maryrose – makes my day.
you know I never really liked trademark clothing, I think it shows a weakness to be accepted into society. But I liked your excellent metaphors,and I enjoyed reading your writing!
Thank you kindly Soad, you share my own antipathy to designer clothes and I hope that I ridiculed them to your liking in this piece of satire.
What a delight this is to read (and more than once)… I might even get excited about getting some decent shoes – a poem with the power of purpose.
All great writing changes the reader, so I’m off now to change…
Thank you kindly for these words – though I avidly advise you to remain well heeled at all times!
Oh Mike… I adore this piece! What a delectable suitporn journey into integrity. Wonderful!!
What a lovely comment Megan! I like having a bitch at the expense of these dudes – I hope the integrity of the seams in their FCUK trousers is even weaker than their own.
Haha I’m so Prada you, for Chanel-ing your inner Boss… I’m in complete stitches! Thank you
Very punny – I’m not rising to the bait because I’ve seen your wordplay before and admit to being totally outclassed 😀 You’ve made my day MK!
Class, Mike. Just checking soles now 😉 I have a wee question for you, can you DM me on Twitter @jasonoruairc please? I think you’ll like it.
Sure Jason but you need to Follow me on Twitter before I can DM (are you a bit Irish or something?)
Pure delight! A wonderful compelling piece of prose.
I’mpleased that you enjoyed this and appreciate your saying so, thanks.
From one “rhymer” to another, this was excellent! Great piece!
So glad to have expert approval, thanks BRC.
I’ve always thought menswear had a certain poetry to it that womenswear with its wider palette of colors, styles and silhouettes did not. Now you’ve proved it. Elegant and eloquent.
A great compliment from a lady in the know – thanks Jackie
The clothes maketh the man. In your case though the words do 🙂
Thanks Claudie and judging by the opening verse of your ‘Great Divides’ he wouldn’t have gotten far with you (;
Slick and slippery 🙂
Astute as ever Eric – thank you so much.
Simply brilliant, Mike. I loved it.
Glad you enjoyed RT
Very nice.
Thanks Steve.
Good advice!
Thanks joe but I suspect that you would have seen through him.
Brilliant piece of writing, Mike.
Thank you kindly vanH.
Great work
Thanks Ink.