A Christmas Song

It’s Santa’n’Summer time so I’m outa here for a few weeks. I’ll catch up with you all in the new year. Here’s a swan-song:

Chestnuts explode in the microwave
Jack Frost dripping down your nose
Yuletide carols being murdered by choirs
And lolcats dressed as Eskimos
Everybody knows
That holly-pricks cause blood to flow
(so do gropes at mistletoe)
From Christmas in Oz as we bask on the beach
Seasons goodwill to you.

With apologies to Mel Torme

In my favorite guise at Kindergarten this week lapping up the love 😀

Shakespeare Today

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I consider every thing that grows
Is modified genetically today,
I wouldnst ere have giveth thee that rose
With GE strain that causeth skin decay.

Mysterious Ways

 

 

 

 

 

In pagan lands with purpose grand

They build a church or two

And educate the cannibals

To abandon human stew.

They show them how to join their hands

To kneel on bended knee

And explain the impropriety

Of yawns at homily.

They give the men some loincloths

The Crisis, The Fox and The Wardrobe

 

 

 

 

 

When I was a wealthy broker I dressed dapper, mode-de-jour

Then some greedy Yankee bastbankers ended all my haute couture.

First a margin call at Barclay’s, next old Lehmann biting dust

Even blue-chips like Armani saw share values slump and bust.

From the penthouse to the poorhouse was a fall that left me bruised

My creditors fought for my Porsche

Happy New Yapping

Year of the Selfie
makes it impossible to
photobomb yourself

Love’s Thunderbolt

Love’s Thunderbolt

We met by serendipity
In range of Cupid’s bow
Her eyes had fire that spun me in

Skios by Michael Frayn

This Michael Frayn comedy of errors caught my eye on the Man Booker Prize 2012 longlist when I spotted it’s ‘humour’ tag. As man’s humour and Man Booker are strange bedfellows my cocked eyebrow signalled that I have a peek. The book is a comedic gem.

It is a fabrication about mistaken identity between a crotchety academic and an impulsive playboy set on a Greek island. There’s a girl caught in the middle

Limerick 038

A Tail of Ms Kidman

On her birthday Nicole (forty-five)

Thought her ego could use a revive,

The iPad and The iPhone

I pad to my phone and I Skype her,

Her pad’s within Wi-Fi from here,

My iEye sees that she’s uncovered,

Said “put rubber bumper on rear”

Widescreen Radio

My TV channel count is gone up to a much-duplicated 55 but 8 are actually radio channels. “WTF is SBS Radio doing thinking it’s a TV station?” asks Melbourne comedian Dave Hughes in his raucous new live stand-up act. And he’s right! Slyly infiltrating my Electronic Program Guide (EPG) using an alias like ABC Dig exceeds the duplicity of the pirate radio station I was once part of way back in the North Sea radio heydays when I fancied myself as their landlubbing prosopopoeia. But this is legal – though it seems somewhat incestuous. Or at the very least a bit bi.

Imagine all those poor, what…viewers? listeners? – the ‘populi bewilderus’ who just sit there listening to watching the music and waiting for a phantom TV show to start with the patience of Ratzinger’s gay admirer.