The portent susurrus
from the windward sea
delivered nostalgic sillage
like death’s breath
to the distant solivagant
unsettling the serenity
in her cloistered littoral haven.
It brought a mnemonic nadir
of aeipathy and pathos
over the threshold of nepenthe
shielding the lacuna in her heart
and she paused…deracinated.
The millstone of eonian onus
now stalled on its pendulum
drawing her eye, mind and step
to the glaucous devouring sea
where Lethean waters led
to benign benthic abeyance.
And no one ever knew why.
Fugitive Fragments
by Mike McGuire
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Your gift of language is phenomenal, reminds me of Paul Lenzi’s work. You’re both over my head, but I’m secure enough to say that–and just keep writing.
I am humbled by your kindness and look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you sincerely.
Tyrrhenian umbral prosody !
Simon I had a West of Ireland seascape in my head but on re-reading I see your point – she does look a little bit Italian 😀 I appreciate your added value and kind compliment.
Clever wordplay.
It’s very rewarding to have that feature of this piece pointed out Donna – many thanks indeed.
And you are very gracious, as well.
Thanks for following my blog. Week before last I posted six poems recently published by Boston Poetry Magazine. Maybe you’ll find one of them to your taste. My favorite is Your Words a String of Drunken Pearls.
Ooooh…a threatening wind and a poem full of menace…splendidly rich in assonance Mike – ‘death’s breath’––wow 🙂
Wow here too for this feedback Polly. Thanks for your descriptive synopsis and interpretation. Your appreciation is much welcomeed 🙂
First time to read your poetry Mike, I like this poem.
Thank you very much – to make sure it’s not a case of first-time-lucky you should visit again 😀
Somebody get me my dictionary! This is actually one of the things that got me writing poetry- I want to be as simple as possible so that the laziest and dumbest of readers can align- but I guess some poems are for the intellectual
I have to read again
No, not the intellectual inkstinct – the curious word-gatherer 😀 This is valuable feedback however and I thank you.
I study the dictionary on my own even when I have not read or heard any new word. But i read through the comments and saw that everyone tilted to the same side. The truth is that sometimes you could easily be put off if after a couple of lines you have no idea what the writer is saying…mood determines if you will get a dictionary or just go on to the next available piece to read.
However, I am not trying to criticise the piece. It depends on what the intention of the writer is, and who the audience is.
I like to work with the everyday english and find a way to go deep; make it simple to read and a bit of a task to decipher.
Yes, the instinct to invest time to read can go either way at the outset. Good point – thanks again ink.
Mike, thanks for always reading my blog!
Keep churning out your good works. Variety is the spice of life; if we all have the same style, poetry would be so boring!
It’s amazing how some people don’t understand satire, Mike.
Some think that I object to reaching for my dictionary.
I was just writing the fact that I had to reach for my dictionary in a satirical fashion for a poem I enjoyed.
But there are some alive today who no doubt would have condemned Jonathan Swift for his modest proposal of eating Irish babies had they lived back in the day.
Funny…I actually reached for mine
I guess you must be a friend of my dictionary, Mike.
No doubt it informed you that I haven’t visited it in awhile and was starting to feel lonely.
So you wrote a poem containing several words I haven’t encountered before so that I’d check it to find out what you were saying.
However once I do figure out what the Hell it is that you’re actually writing about, I’m sure I’ll come to the conclusion that this is a brilliant poem like most of your poetry usually is.
In the meantime, my dictionary thanks you. 🙂
Unique feedback DVH. Be advised that I wrote this piece with the specific intent of dragging you kicking and screaming to a lexicon of words that you will never have any use for – Machiavellian Mike.
The chapter that never made it into most editions of The Prince- the chapter that sent Cesare Borgia scrambling for a lexicon.
Mike, this is excellent, so beautiful, yet tragic and so very sad. Amazing imagery, fabulous word choices, and to also think about the power of the sea, and the permanence it can offer. In reading this I can’t help but feel for her, this challenges our capacity for endurance, and at what point do we finally give in and succumb to emotional weariness, and decide that all hope is lost? Very thought provoking, and a very powerful poem, what a way to welcome 2015!
Warm wishes,
Pepperanne
This penetrating analysis of great depth and understanding highlights the poem’s primary elements and the poet’s intent. Pepperanne I am so appreciative of the considerable effort that you dedicated to your appraisal and thank you for your very welcome and sincere compliments.
You remind me of our mutual friend Charlie Zero here… (he has different topics though).
Hey douryeh, I appreciate your calling by – many thanks. 😉
What a wonderful smooth poem.. the vocabulary is exact and the images that gives it a classical touch — yet a beautiful sadness that only can be found at the bottom of the sea.
What a wonderful analysis that reads smoothly in itself! I really appreciate your feedback Björn, thank you very much.
Hi Mike, welcome to 2015 with a plethora of language! I like the new look of the blog, by the way 🙂 Did you have a nice holiday over Christmas? I was trying to get the whole meaning of the poem and then I thought, heck it’s worth reading just for the way the words roll around in my mind as I read them!
What a lovely new year greeting! I did indeed enjoy the season and am returned refreshed. I had problems getting the sounds right in this piece and resorted to a somewhat arcane lexicon – I’m starting to have my doubts about that now. I should consider for 2015 that the poetic end may not always justify the verbal means 😀 Thanks for your feedback Christy, much valued as ever.
‘cloistered littoral haven’ is very nice! Lots of goodies here 🙂
I appreciate your above selection Linnet because I had enormous difficulty getting the first two words to harmonise. Many thanks.
I didn’t get all the words or the references, but the overal effect is of glittering Ionian summer seas, and the subject being feminine, a feeling of impending tragedy. I’ll get the dico out when my back’s feeling stronger 🙂
Reblogged this on Tales of Unwise Paths.
I thank you kindly for casting this humble seed into the wind.
My fear is that you’ve found a way to weed me out as one of your many followers, Michael. Your words and their placement will require my complete attention in order to truly understand your poem. As I reread and before I get out my thesaurus, I’m left sad, which may be why I’ve deduced myself into inferiority.
In any case, your decision to come into 2015 with a full weighted poem, has my respect.
Welcome back… xx
To this very day Audrey I thank the writers who forced me to reach for the dictionary, building the vocabulary that continues to grow as I discover new and beautiful words to play with. Believe me when I tell you it’s worth the journey. Thanks and all the best for 2015 🙂
I once made the mistake of asking a nuclear physics PhD student to explain his subject to me, with similar effect to your poem. 🙂 And he was Indian. You are pulling Australia out of its intellectual doldrums on your own. Love the poem. It sounds beautiful. I felt the meaning before I got the intellectual meaning. Very clever verbal footwork. May I reblog? (Oh, and Happy New Year).
I’m overwhelmed by your response and thank you sincerely for a wonderful appraisal. By all means reblog with my grateful thanks. And all the best for 2015 to you too.
Phenomenal word choices!
Thank you bejamin – much appreciated feedback.
Hey I like the look of your blog! Did you change it? It looks different to me!
I like your poem here! I like that words you chose. I had to read it twice. Just wanted to say hi and see what’s up with you! Have a wonderful weekend! 😀
Glad you liked this poem MichelleMarie and yes, I gave a website a new skin for fresh new year look. Thank you for your feedback.
Say WHAT?! Rarely do I have to go running to dictionaries… But then I did, and I got to enjoy the poem a second time.
Thanks & Welcome Back!
Thank you Ron, much appreciated, I too had to consult the big book for the effects I wanted here but at least we both got some physical exercise out of it 😀
When I first read this poem, I had my own sense and feeling about it’s mystique, but then needed a crash course in dictionary use for the exact meaning of some of the words. And it didn’t spoil the beauty of this poem 🙂
You’re not alone Tiny and I confess to being more than usually fussy about my word choices here (it has to do with their sound in the scheme). I am grateful that you went to this trouble and pleased that you found the outcome worthwhile. My personal thanks for this feedback.
Excellent poem dear Mike…
I felt a sort of mythological atmosphere surrounding me as I read your words…
“The beginning of the poem is by the way stunning:
The portent susurrus
from the windward sea
delivered nostalgic sillage
like death’s breath ”
I can’t but congratulate you on this one!~ A great poem indeed.
Best wishes and happy sunday!, Aquileana 😀
There is indeed a small element of mythology there Aquileana in my reference to Lethe waters and I’m pleased that you picked up the vibe. Thank you my friend for such great feedback, much appreciated 🙂
Deeply appreciated this poem, Mike. It deserves to be read aloud, in order to better savour the beautifully poignant imagery. Bravo!
Yes, I appreciate your recognizing the sounds in this piece and acknowledge your sharp insight and analysis. Much thanks 🙂
You clearly love words, Mike. And they love you. They dance to the tune you play perfectly in harmony, jumping and leaping, quiet and waiting…but you do make me pull that heavy dictionary off the shelf quer and often 🙂
Funny thing Jackie, but what I’m forcing you to do is exactly how I built the vocabulary you have so warmly commented on. Your appreciation is valued and really appreciated and I thank you.
I do not have the words to compliment this piece, just emotions 🙂 simply put “and no one ever knew why.”
To have touched you in this way is the ultimate compliment C – thank you for giving me a huge boost 🙂
haf MERCY!!!
Quite an honour sir, you have made my day. Thank you.
Hauntingly beautiful…..
Thanks Stephanie, I greatly appreciate this acknowledgement.
woven within your words seem to haunt the page, drawing a silent sadness that seem to have the waters rhythm call her…
then I looked up all those words… 🙂 I enjoyed this Mike…not sure I understood it right but I went on feeling….
Take Care…You Matter…
)0(
maryrose
Your interpretation is on target maryrose and aptly described. Thank you so much for this appreciation.
You’re welcome…I had to go on feeling your words stumped me 🙂
but I enjoyed learning the new words..now to pronounce them
you have such a great flow of energy in your writing for one to feel
)0(
Your mastery of sound and language in this piece, Mike, reminds me of the experience of reading Finnegans Wake…you and Joyce, kindred from way back.
Thank you Elaine, I’ve always admired his wordplay but little else I’m afraid.You’ve identified the aural element that forms the heart of this piece. It is extremely gratifying to this poet that you have done so and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.